Ms Tina: Waitress Extrordinare!

Tim and Anna Parker first came to Hawaii on their way to Maine from Australia six years ago.It was early morning and they searched for a place to eat breakfast.  By chance they walked in to Denny's and was assigned Tina's table area.  Tina is a bundle of energy and personable service. Soon she knew all about their family and their order preference.  When they returned a year later she greeted them by name and when seated and even asked if Tim if he wanted the same as he had last time!  It became their place for breakfast, just to be able to see Tina.  She greats you with a hug and remembers your name and any family member (or travel nanny) that came with them.  She calls the women "My Lady" and never fails to give you a hug.  The details she remembers about her customers are amazing.  From who takes coke or coffee to their favorite order.

There are many great places to eat in Honolulu but we come to Denny's for this wonderful lady.  I figured the apron was lucky to have a picture with Tina.

It's Time for MAD MONEY!!!

For the last couple of years I have helped sponsor a contest where nannies who want to attend the International Nanny Association Annual Conference could earn some "mad money".  I know this conference is not inexpensive and most of us come with very little in our pocket after we pay for airfare, conference fees,   and incidentals.

The conference has always served me in three ways:

The first benefit is the workshops as you can never stop learning.  There have been times I attended a workshop with the thought deep in my brain that said, "what don't you know about this subject?"  I always came away with new ideas, skills or things to think about later.  Nannies rarely have the opportunity or time to attend workshops in their home town.  Yet, they are eager to learn and embrace new ideas. The conference is a chance to enhance their skills and learn new ones.

The second benefit is the chance to mingle socially with other nannies.  I think parents often have the idea that nannies get together to "discuss their parents" or complain about their life.  But that is so far from the truth as there is just this wonderful chance to meet people who share your passion for your profession!  You make friends with folks you might have only seen on someones facebook page.  Suddenly, your world is not so small!  There is this bond, what I call the sisterhood where you just know someone would be there for you if you needed them...

The third benefit is the opportunity to meet agency owners, payroll folks, and even insurance agencies that specialize in nannies.  Everyone mingles and you feel for the first time a real part of the nanny profession.  Agencies are not there to recruit nannies, which is often another thing parents worry about, but they are there to help us understand the business side of the industry and what we need to do in order to be viewed as professionals.

I want to help nannies enjoy the conference even if on a strict budget.  This year, Kellie Geres, Alice Shaffer and The Traveling Nanny have decided to continue the Mad Money Contest.  There has never been an easier way to earn spending money at the conference!  Rules?  There are practically no rules!  Well, maybe one or two rules.  The main one is you get the money at the conference so you have to attend!

How to Enter:

Write a 300 word essay (it can be longer but not shorter) about:
Why You Like Being a Nanny, Something Funny that has Happened to You as a Nanny, Your Thoughts about the Nanny Profession---basically any essay that has to do with being a nanny.

You don't think "you are a good writer"?  No problem as this essay is not about grammar, spelling or even how well you write.  I simply want you to reaffirm who you are and to appreciate your profession.

Email it to:   thetravelingnanny@gmail.com   In the Subject line put Mad Money
Deadline:  March 31, 2013

Just by emailing it to me, your name goes into the "basket".  On April 1st, we will pull out two names and those two people will have $50 to spend any way they wish at the conference.

How easy is that?  So what are you waiting for?  Get busy and write us some essays!

When Privacy is an issue--think twice!

Recently on a nanny board there was a post where a nanny was distraught because her twelve year old charge saw an email on the nanny's computer where she was complaining about her parents and ran it off and gave it to the mom.  It was never clear if she was a live-in nanny, but for sake of argument I will take the position that she was a live in and the computer was in her room.

She was upset that the 12 year old invaded her privacy and the mom told the nanny "we will talk about this later".  She felt the mom's first reaction should have been angry at the daughter for invading the nanny's private space.

Let's face it, human nature says if you write something negative about me, I am going to concentrate on that first!  She probably dealt with the daughter later, but her first reaction was about being hurt that the nanny said something unkind.  Difficult situation as the nanny said she actually likes the parents, just had a bad day.  We don't even know the time frame and if she wrote this on "their time" or her off time.  Every detail counts in situations like this.

Nannies for the most part ran to her defense about the privacy issue.  I think we miss the point if that is our first reaction.  When you work and live in the same place, you need to be careful.  Everyone vents about their job from time to time with a trusted friend or family member.  It is better to wait until you are off and call someone rather than put it in writing.  A good  friend will listen, let you get it out and not comment too much.  If she does, hopefully she will try to look at the issue from both sides and be honest with you.

If you MUST write it out, do it in a private email, never on a public platform, and then delete it from your sent file.  If your friend answers, read and delete!  Don't assume just because you should have "a right to privacy" that you will get it.

We live in an era where privacy can be invaded in so many ways---curious 12 year olds (especially if subject  line had something that caught her eye) or your computer can even be compromised.  There are sick people out there who might just like to share what you write!

You can get indignant all you want but you should learn to take responsibility for your own actions.  Clients deserve to know that what happens in their home stays in their homes.  If you share and sometimes you need to for your own sanity, be very careful who you call.  Be even more careful if you put it in writing.

If you screw up, the first thing you should be asking is how do I handle this in a professional manner?  Think how you would feel if the situation was reversed.  Try not to rationalize your actions--look at it from all view points.  It is the only way to solve problems.  The first thing might be  to apologize to the client/parent and let them know that this was a trusted friend and you had a bad day and just needed to vent.   Let them know you understand how it made them feel and you are very sorry for that pain.  Share the positive things you feel about them.  You might even add that you are sure there are days you frustrate them and they share with a friend and if you overheard them, you would probably feel as they do now.

If you acknowledge the person's right to their feelings, you can usually move on to the other issue which is you need to know your private space is private.  Would it be possible to sit down with the 12 year old together and let her know how important your privacy is to you?

I think what bothered me about the original post was that she didn't recognize the dangers of emails and public postings.  Friends can betray your confidence and computers can be compromised as we live in a world where information is seldom sacred.

Write it out if it makes you feel better---just think twice before you hit send....

Scary Thought: Will this New Potty Chair be the New Trend?

I have this idea to save my thoughts once a year, store it in the Big Chest for posterity.  My daughter, like many women today, married later and didn't have her kids till 35 and 37.  Which means as much as I love them and they love me, they won't really remember who I am in 15 years when they are teens.  They will see me as that "nice old grandma" who may or may not have a walker but certainly won't be climbing the Sydney Harbor Bridge.  They live in another state so our get together will gradually slow down.  So I write about things and figure some day if they have to write a paper about their old grandma, maybe they will read these pages and feel for the first time, they know me.  

Up to now that was my primary reason for writing.  Well, that and trying to keep my sanity.  Then today in my email I found I had one follower!  Really?  Someone read here with all the errors (I flash write--write as I think and hardly ever proof) and no one twisted their arm?

But as usual I diverse from the topic. 

Today's topic: Will this new potty chair be the new trend?

Before you think "who writes about potty chairs" let me explain.  I would really like to know your opinion.  If you are the new generation your take might be different than mine and I'd like to think I am still open to new ways of thinking.

Object of my thoughts is a potty chair that has a place to attach an IPad so the child will be inspired to sit and learn to use the potty.  They say they will even develop apps about potty training for it!  It came about "because they found so many 3 year olds were getting their own IPad for Christmas!  Really?  Does that translate mommy or daddy wanted one but didn't want to admit it so "bought" it for 3 year old?  

At first glance (feel free to go look at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2261948/The-iPad-Potty-A-high-tech-aid-toilet-training.html) I just want to take my Samauri sword and chop it to pieces!  What is the world coming to when you let a machine potty train your child!  Are robot parents that far behind?

But the world has changed.  My daughter has a 2 1/2 year old who was smart enough to come up to her on the couch where according to her she was reading and minding her own beeswax when he approaches with "Mommy, I decide I not do that potty thing, I just poop in my diaper, ok?  Bye" and walks away.  She has a 6 month old (trend of starting late moms) and has tried everything to at least get his interest.  I even bought him a potty that played music knowing how he loves music.  He managed to take it apart and figure out how to make it play without peeing.  The pot is usually his new orange hat.  BUT the kid does love the IPad.  He usually only gets it on the plane ride to my house.  A little here and there at the house but usually it is with dad at work.  So after my first indignation and putting on my ninja outfit to attack newfangled potty chair, I hit pause.

It definitely is a cop out chair--but dang, I bet it would work like crazy!  Would my "green daughter, Miss naturalist" go for something so obviously aimed at lazy moms?  Remember, the kid wears his potty as a hat...has announced he is fine with poop in his diaper....If this stay at home frazzled mom who thanks to the party at night 6 month old hasn't slept through the night in what seems like forever, thought she could potty train that kid in one day with an IPad stuck to his potty chair....well, her idealist life might get challenged with a whack of new age logic.

So what is your opinion?  World has gone nuts, Moms are lazy, Kids are doomed way of thinking or "Will it work and who cares?"

Exercise Clothes

First, I might as well start out by saying this post is a lame effort at an apology to work out/yoga clothes.  Nothing worse than admitting you are wrong but as my mama always said, "if you aren't prepared to be wrong and admit it, then you need to not have opinions".  I'm not sure that makes sense but it was my mother's way of telling you to not be afraid of mistakes.  At least that is the way I choose to remember it...

On a newborn care facebook site, we were talking about comfortable clothes for work and since I travel and my image is important, I made the comment that I didn't like yoga pants.  They usually lie low on the waist and lose fitting, a style that doesn't become this body of mine.  Well, who would have thought so many people liked them and for a moment I thought I was going to have to leave the country for a bit!

Then my husband joined a gym where you can bring a guest free every time.  As a travel nanny it has never paid me to join a gym as I am home in spurts.  He was very excited about taking me with him and I figured he must be lonelier than I thought when I was gone.  So being the great wife I am, putting his needs above my need to slouch around the house, I said I would go with him.

It's not that I don't know I should exercise and how helpful it would be for me to keep stretching and help slow down arthritis and other aches and pains caused by long airplane rides, it's just...well...it's boring!  I solved the problem of 45 minutes on the treadmill by bringing my Kindle and propping it up and reading while I do a fast walk.  One day I forgot it and got so desperate I was reading subtitles to a Raymond episode.  It was a very long 45 minutes.  The circuit machines only take 30 minutes and 4 out of the 12 I can read while doing leg lifts.  So having conquered the boredom up to a point, I started thinking I should get something to exercise in that would be comfortable but I wouldn't feel like a bloated old fart trying to stay young.  Okay, maybe the description fits me but I can at least buy a decent disguise.

I had been working out in my plane pants, light knit pants from Chico's that have a lot of give in them.  They worked just fine but they are not inexpensive and I hate wearing travel clothes when I am home.  I like to separate my wardrobe as a means of separating the two parts of my life--work and home.  I found some gray light pants with stretch that didn't look too bad on me and yet at $20, I wasn't going to buy two!  Call me cheap but exercise clothes is not where I want to spend my small amount of "fun money".  Then I had to go to the dreaded Wal-mart for a photo machine and stopped in their active wear department.  There they were, the yoga style pants I had said I'd never wear.  Hmmmm.  these were form fitting in thighs before they flared out in the legs...Very thin...very stretchy..  When I saw the $12 price tag I grabbed them and a matching top and tried them on.  Oh, man, talk about comfort!  I turned sideways to see how big they made my Miller Butt look and found if I got the XLarge top I could cover it up.  For the grand price of $17 I came out with the pants and top.

I put them on the next day to go to the gym and my husband who never notices anything I wear told me I looked sexy!  Wow, AND they were comfortable!  When was the last time you wore something someone thought was sexy and you didn't feel like you had to hold your breath all night?!  I confess that they stayed on all day.

Next, I got to thinking  I could use them in place of scrub pants.  I could fall asleep in these things and wake up with no wrinkles.  I bet they would wash and dry fast too...

The only thing I have to figure out is how to admit to this crowd that I changed my mind?

Oh, How Children Change!

As I mentioned before my daughter writes a funny and interesting blog.  Today, I read with amusement this littler excerpt::

Enormous leg of lamb done up Lebanese style roasting in the oven. Mezes waiting to be set out on the table. Nammoura cake (semolina yogurt cake with rose & orange blossom water syrup poured over it) waiting to be popped into the oven. The air in our apartment is redolent of cardamom and cinnamon and turmeric and garlic and lemon; it smells heavenly in here.
I know..doesn't sound amusing and you are wondering if I indulged in just a wee bit too much champagne last night.  I am not answering that question but I can assure you that I can validate this amusing claim.

Travel back in time with me--you know you wish you could.

My fourteen year old daughter would rather stick her nose in a book that do anything useful, including baking, cleaning her room or heaven forbid, talk to the rest of us.  My 9 year old son is the opposite.  Never met a book he felt was worth sitting still for and talking is one of his favorite pass times.  You try to maneuver around it with well placed "hmmmmm..interesting, sounds good" etc.  Don't even think for a moment you can out smart a kid.  

"Mom, look at me!"  

"I'm busy!  Why do I have to look at you while you talk?"

"Because it's the only way I can tell if you are listening!"

"I'm listening!"

"No, you are just saying hmmmm to make me think you are listening!"

I know I divert here a bit but I want you to understand how different these two children are in nature.  Naturally, the 14 year old feels she is so superior to her little brother and he is always trying to find one thing he can do better.

The night of the famous brownie cook off began innocently.  My child who lives for sweets begged me to make homemade brownies.  Always pinching pennies I had found making them from scratch was easy and less expensive than buying boxed brownies as most of the ingredients are items you have in your cupboard.  

I was tired and told him if he wanted brownies he could make them himself.  Instead of being discouraged he was turned on big time.  YES! I could hear my future baker yell.  It was enough to bring me into the kitchen and supervise.  I gave him the recipe and watched as he carefully measured and followed each step precisely.  The heavenly smell of brownies filled the kitchen and it was enough to bring old bookworm into our midst.

Nothing is better than still warm from the oven brownies and we all enjoyed that first piece. My son kept pushing for a compliment from Miss Hard to Please till finally she said, "anyone can make brownies".

"Really?  Let's see you make them!"

"You are so juvenile!  Give me the recipe!"

Like my son, she carefully examined the recipe.  The difference is somewhere her brain didn't connect on measurements.  The child is gifted but her math skills must have dyslexia! The first batch came out as hard as rocks!

What did you do?

I followed the directions!

Tell me what you read!

Oh.....hmmmm...I think I put in a half cup of salt instead of 1/2 teaspoon...Anyone could misread that as look he has a bit of cocoa on it!

My son years between bites of brownies "don't blame me if you can't measure"!  

Not to be outdone by a 9 year old, she yanks the recipe back and says she is doing it again.

My kitchen was beginning to look like a flour war zone but I said, "fine".

This time you could see her measure and remeasure.  She was finally pleased with her results and put it in the oven.  They smelt fine and I could see the hope rising within her.

"They are still gooey inside ", she announced despite going past the cooking time.  They were also very flat.

"Hey," my son encouraged, "if you were making fudge they look okay".  

I tried to tell her they tasted good, just like gooey fudge.  She kept mumbling something about "how hard can this be and I am not quitting till they are perfect!"  So Miss Perfection starts making her third batch.

By this time my son and I are both praying for success.  She had flour in her hair, floor and cocoa now made a path on the floor but by gosh those brownies were going to be made!

I am happy to say the third batch was perfect!

"See, I told you anyone could make brownies"!

She never really started cooking till right before she met her husband and was broke enough between jobs to start cooking.  It helped that her husband to be loved food and cooking for him was a way to impress or pay him back for dinners out.  She has learned to cook from recipes and measurements no longer confuse her so she has turned out to be an excellent cook and a superb baker.  Yep, baker.  Go figure.

So you have to agree with me now that the except is amusing when you consider how far she has come.

Lesson here?  If you have children with habits or shortcomings and you wonder just what you did wrong or worry about their future ability to survive--don't.  Who they become isn't influence completely by their present status.  They will change despite you and become whoever they are eventually comfortable with--even learn to like cooking.

Don't despair as there is always hope...